The Beauty Underneath The Grief

Please Give Yourself Permission to Feel. To Be Human. To Experience the Range of Emotions that Come With Grappling With Death and Loss. You Are Not Alone!

Now if you are like me you are more interested in exploring potential than talking about feelings.

Unfortunately, I have learned firsthand you must dive deep into your being if you want to soar into your potential.

This means you must uncover all the aspects of yourself (and emotions) you left in the dark (or in the past).

I lost my father suddenly at the age of 11. It initiated me into reality where you look around and understand that everything you see lives by the old axiom, "this too shall pass."

Let's keep it real. If you truly let yourself feel this statement (not just interpret it through your pre-frontal cortex) it F*CKING HURTS.

That amount of pain can quickly slip into a slippery slope of "what makes life worth living" to "is life worth living?"

I know, because that was my reality for many years.

It's something most of us never talk about. Yet it's part of the process, especially if you have experienced an ego death, spiritual awakening, or peak state that shot you into the sublime.

You touch the other side of reality. You experience the Sun firsthand. Its warmth. It's Light. The freedom of pain and everything it means to be alive in 3D reality.

Then you ask yourself "why is life so painful?" "Why do we have to experience loss and grief?"

Then the thoughts come in..." well if there is another side then I don't have to worry and I don't have to grieve because we are all spiritual beings having human experiences."

[FYI this is your Trickster speaking]

To deny grief is to deny your mortality.

Mortality is a key building block of this reality.

Everything physical lives and dies, but always flows in the constant evolution of the universe.

I tried to push the grief away as a kid.

Only for it to come back up two decades later.

I thought I cracked it open after a breathwork experience back in 2019 where I experienced the visual of a walnut being cracked open with a harder ball of emotional energy sitting inside.

Yet as I am more curious about exploring human potential, I have discovered there's even more grief that was tucked away deep down.

Deeper grief. Grief about the living and dying nature of reality and acknowledging every single thing that we love has its expiration date.

After you experience this level of grief you have two choices...

BUT before you get the opportunity for these two choices, you must FEEL it.

You must allow every one of your cells the opportunity to feel and grieve that no matter how hard they work for you, they too shall pass.

(No wonder grief physically hurts so bad. Imagine the weight of this being acknowledged by every one of your cells!)

Do our bodies want to acknowledge this? Of course not! They are built to avoid pain!

After you feel fully, then the two choices present themselves:

1. Explore passivity (and hold the weight of mortality) while navigating reality

2. Embrace the f*ck out of mortality and allow it to catapult you. Transcend the weight of trivial pursuits and let it be your guiding force to Live Harder.

Emotional "lead" can hold you down, or be turned into the golden fuel you need to soar into your potential.

Honor yourself, & honor every experience (both good and bad) that life has gifted you.

Honor grief, and honor the fact that if you embrace the pain you can catapult into the ecstasy of being fully alive.

Honor your cells, all 75 trillion of them.

Just like every human will experience grief and must feel fully to become a deeply embodied human. Your body, your cells need space to feel fully and acknowledge the hard truth that no matter how hard they work, they too shall pass.

As the saying goes "living is a dangerous business."

You can either let the fear of danger crush you, or start dangerously living life...

If you made it this far, I hope you join me in walking the path of living fully.

P.S. If you read this entire article, first and foremost thank you. Thank you for witnessing my journey and assisting me in my own alchemical process to transmute the lead that has held my own soul down for decades. It's the opposite side of my nature to open up to others, so here is a step in that direction.

I'm grateful to share this journey of life with you.

Lastly, if you or a loved one is experiencing the weight of mortality, please feel free to reach out. 

Just like a cell can not handle the weight of grief all on its own. You are not meant to handle the pain of living all on your own. We are the individual cells that makeup humanity, so lean on your brothers and sisters when the weight of living presents itself.