How to Create Bumper Lanes for Your Life

Fan Your Flame & You Can Light 1,000 Others...

Life is always going to try and pull you in different directions.

This being the case, consciously creating "bumper lanes" for my own life has been one of the most impactful practices to date.

Now, what am I talking about when I say "bumper lanes?"

In the summer of 2021, I attended flow camp (yes summer camp for adults!) put on by Jamie Wheal.

I not only gained an entire handful of new lifetime friends. But there's one specific practice I put into place that has blossomed into something more beautiful than I can ever imagine.

If I had to distill this practice down, I would call it "creating a rhythm of connection."

It's the idea to do the things that recharge your mind, body, and soul on a weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly basis.

Craving out time to connect with loved ones, the earth, your body, a Source bigger than yourself, or in my case my "soul brothers."

Nothing new per se, but my life completely shifted when I put this into practice.

1 Flame Can Light 1,000 Others

After I got back I would later plan a weekend with a good friend Chris. Then we both decided to last minute invite another brother nicknamed "Joesph Ronnie Dass."

Sitting around a fire we got to philosophizing about life. "J. R. Dass" proceeded to start talking about fire.

That's when he shared the profound statement, "The most important you can do is to fan your flame..."

"Because when you are burning bright, that one flame can light an infinite amount of others."

What happens if we don't tend our own fires first?

We burn out. Leaving us nothing to give others, let alone have the energy to do anything for ourselves.

From a Dimely Lit Weekend To A Raging Bonfire

After that weekend we decided to make it a quarterly practice to host a Men's weekend.

An intentionally created weekend where you go into it knowing you will walk away burning brighter than before.

A ritual of connection. Where you meet with the people or places in life that you remind of who you are at your core, what matters most, and what you said you were going to do.

The ultimate bumper lanes because I know on a quarterly basis I will be surrounded by other men on the path. Becoming the best man/husband/father possible. Ready to hold, support, challenge, and unconditionally love me for who I am during every season.

This ritual of connection has grown into a bonfire because a year later we have over a dozen men getting together!

TDLR: "Bumper Lane" Recipe

We like to overcomplicate things. Anytime you are feeling off-path or not like yourself, consider this recipe to create your own "bumper lanes:"

- At least 1 good friend or loved one (handfuls welcome)
- A beautiful meeting place (outdoors is always a great option)
- Some good music and food (and anything else you all fancy)

- Mix it all together with deep and meaningful conversations.

- Tend to each other by sharing your most alive pain, and desires.

- Accompany by even more laughter.

- Combine for a day, weekend, or more.

Do this, and all of your flames will be burning that much brighter than before!

Lastly, bake it into a ritual. Rinse & repeat on a monthly, quarterly, or yearly basis.

Looking for a Daily Reminder?

This candle was inspired by the very conversation I mentioned in this article. Place in a special space and remind yourself daily to fan your flame. It's the most important thing you can do (and only when you tend your fire can you light 1,000 other flames!) Buy Here.