From Attempted Suicide To Becoming The Lioness of Love

Today I want you to meet Barbara,

(Going to use B for short)

B accumulated a lot of HEAVY "lead" during her childhood.

This included: "I don't deserve love. I am not good enough. It's not safe to trust others. I have to perform to be of value."

And lastly, "I do not matter."

(I'm guessing you can relate to at least one of these core wounds? I know I can!)

When she came to visit me in San Diego she was tired, put others before herself, and numb to life.

Luckily, she was brave enough to go where a lot of people dare not go. Straight into her pain so she could face, accept, and transmute the lead into gold.

Here is the story of B's transformation:

Imagine you are 7 years old. You have an alcoholic father and mother who checked out after one of your sisters passed away. Your father never gave you affection or allowed you to feel loved and accepted. You do more than your fair share of chores around the house but never get acknowledgment. You decide to step up, later lying about your age so you can start working and buy things like toothpaste for yourself.

But it is never enough.

So you feel ashamed of your parents. Pissed off they can never love you for being you. BUT, there's no time to express your feelings because you are too busy fighting to survive and be your own provider.

(How did you deal with strong emotions as a kid? This is a powerful way to understand your default coping mechanism)

"Overworking" became the default mode, and "never good enough" was the main frame of reference of which life was perceived.

(All this being said, this isn't to blame her parents. B can acknowledge today that they simply "did their best.") 

The positive side is B developed the strength to weather any storm because "just dealing with it" was her life motto. 

(What motto did you take on as a kid?)

Until it all accumulated and she couldn't take it any longer. The potent combination of being numb to life with suppressed anger built up, and she attempted to take her own life.

Yet, it's a blessing and honor that she is here today.

Life gave her curve ball after curve ball. Almost a lifetime of constant evolutions of valleys.

Sometimes we lean into our strengths so often, we forget what our greatest strengths are.

During the intensive, she remembered that “the struggles turned into my biggest strengths” and "this strength gives me freedom."

And it sure did...

B was able to go from "I don't deserve love" to experiencing the deep love and support that is always there from Mother Earth.

Transmuting "I am not good enough" into " There is no such thing as being enough, you simply are."

From "It's not safe to trust others" to " I am strong enough to open my heart and practice trusting others."

To giving away her power and "performing to be of value" vs “I’m a f*cking Rockstar.”

"I do not matter" into “I AM a fire tender. I amplify people's fires.”

Becoming the Lioness of Love & Light that doesn’t question her value, because "that value comes from within."

This all happened because she gave herself permission to feel. To be human, and was committed to her growth and healing.

Fast forward to the present moment and she still has her brief moments where she questions herself. But most importantly, she now knows how to forgive herself.

(We all have to keep in mind she lived with the previous frames of reference for over 5 decades!)

This is what it means to become the Alchemist.

B is a gift to all of humanity because she is the embodiment of a hero. Who against all odds overcame every difficult challenge and still found her way back into her heart.

She is the lighthouse, ending the darkness of previous generations, and lighting the way for her community.

She is a pillar of human possibility, and hopefully an inspiration for your journey.

B inspires me, and it was an honor to be her guide through the process of transmutation.

No matter what you have been through, your pain is not meant to be held onto. It was only meant to be experienced.

If you need help letting go of your "lead" and transforming it into "Soul Gold" it would be my honor to guide you through the process.

There is a hero of love inside of you.

Waiting to be embodied.

All it takes is full commitment and complete surrender to the process.

But on the other side lies the greatest treasure of your life.

(& you simultaneously become one of the greatest treasures to all of mankind)

#BecomeTheAlchemist.